Stuck

The past few weeks have been kind of tough. I've been confused and I realized that the reason why is that I wasn't in God's Word like I should've been. I decided to just make myself sit down and really study and start reading a book and spend time in it every night. I decided to start with Romans simply because I don't think I've ever read all the way through it before.

I got to Romans 7 and it's just kind of stuck out to me. It talks about sin and how we know what sin is. "I would not have known was sin was except through the law... For apart from the law, sin is dead. Once I was alive apart from law; but when the commandment came, sin sprang to life and I died." (v. 7-9)

So, people who don't live by God's law don't realize that certain things are wrong and sinful. They have no reason not to do the things they do. Where there is no law, there is no sin. God's law makes people realize they are sinners doomed to die, but of course, doing good doesn't save us from death, that's where Jesus/God's grace come in..and that's another topic for another day.

So reading further, I found that Paul struggled with the same thing I do- continually sinning even though I know it's wrong. He said "I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do, I do not do, but what I hate, I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me...For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do- this I keep on doing." (v. 15-19)

And I totally identify with Paul here. I know that what I do is wrong, but I won't stop doing it!! I'm glad to know that I'm not the only person who is this stupid. The most awesome high God loves me, cares for me, gives me direction through His word, allows me to teach His Word and allows me to claim to be a child of Him, yet I'm still a lowly sinner who does nothing but continually sin against Him. Paul, the greatest missionary ever, went through the same thing.

Anyway, so I kept reading to find the solution. "So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being, I delight in God's law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members...Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God- through Jesus Christ our Lord!" (v. 21-25)

Again, the problem is that we agree with God's commands but cannot do them. As a result, we are painfully aware of our sin. Whenever Paul felt overwhelmed by the spiritual battle, he would return to the beginnings of his spiritual life, remembering how he had been freed from sin by Jesus Christ. We have to go back and remember how powerful God is and the sacrifice He made for us and how He can pulls us out of whatever sin we are facing if we just look to Him constantly and never take our eyes off Him.

Paul is always talking about "running the race" for Christ. We should run the race, run toward God and never look back. Running a race requires purpose and discipline. Christian life takes hard work, self-denial, and much preparation. The essential disciplines of prayer, Bible study, and worship equip us to run with vigor and stamina. We must train diligently for spiritual progress.

"Do you not know that in a race, all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training..." 1 Corinthians 9:24-25

I love David Crowder's song How He Loves. I love the part that says "I don't have time to maintain these regrets when I think about the way that He loves us."

So, I'm going to keep training, running, not looking back, and maintain no regrets. :)