So, I'm all about changing the world, making people happy by making them feel loved by sharing the love of Christ with them. I go to the Philippines and I do that no prob. I go to Malaysia, again, do it no prob. I say that I want to spend my life spreading the Gospel, but what am I doing??? For the past month, since I've been home from Malaysia, I've done nothing. I haven't shared Christ with anyone. I haven't helped anyone. I feel like I'm wasting my life. I'm back in Dorsey saving money so I can to go seminary so I can be full of all kinds of knowledge to share with all kinds of people who believe different things. But sharing the love of God is simple. I can do it anytime, anywhere, as long as I have the words of God in my heart. That's all it takes. But what am i doing? For the past month, I've been keeping those words to myself, not sharing the happiness and joy that God shares with me with anyone, and its making me miserable. There is a world full of people who have no idea about the love and joy that comes with knowing Jesus. There is a world full of people who hunger to know, but have no way of hearing. I don't feel like I'm in the right place. I don't know if I mean that physically, spiritually, or what, but I don't feel peace about what I'm doing.
Jesus said in Acts 1:8: "..and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth."
Jerusalem was home for them, Judea and Samaria were farther away, and the ends of the earth are the farthest away. I need to be a witness in my Jerusalem, which is Dorsey and the surrounding areas. I feel miserable because I'm not and I never have been. I'm terrible at being a servant at home. All I think about is how much I want to get out of this country and on to another place. I need to learn to be ok with where I presently am and to find ways to share with those around me. I need to man up and get over myself and make sharing the Gospel a part of my every day life..a part of me that just flows freely..to live is Christ. To live is to live the Gospel.
Ok, I just had to get that out. I need someone to slap me in the face and tell me to get out there and to find ways to serve. Don't let me lose my sight of Christ. Don't let me forget why I'm here on this Earth.
Jesus said in Acts 1:8: "..and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth."
Jerusalem was home for them, Judea and Samaria were farther away, and the ends of the earth are the farthest away. I need to be a witness in my Jerusalem, which is Dorsey and the surrounding areas. I feel miserable because I'm not and I never have been. I'm terrible at being a servant at home. All I think about is how much I want to get out of this country and on to another place. I need to learn to be ok with where I presently am and to find ways to share with those around me. I need to man up and get over myself and make sharing the Gospel a part of my every day life..a part of me that just flows freely..to live is Christ. To live is to live the Gospel.
Ok, I just had to get that out. I need someone to slap me in the face and tell me to get out there and to find ways to serve. Don't let me lose my sight of Christ. Don't let me forget why I'm here on this Earth.
Here's the slap...POW! Honestly, I have had the same feelings and discomfort since being home too. I have only shared Christ with someone one time since I came home. ONE time in a MONTH! That's terrible! I feel the same as you when it comes to thoughts about ministry and seminary. Why go to seminary when we already have all we need in Christ...because it's the thing to do? Because it's what we feel like is the next step? Because we want to "learn" more about doing ministry? Honestly, I don't know why I feel called to go to seminary, but I feel like God has something prepared for me in advance and has placed me where I am for a reason. We both need to get out there (wherever we are) and proclaim what we know is true about Jesus. Like you said, it's simple. Yet, why do we make it so complicated? I'll be praying for you, Marg! Pray for me too, that I will be bold and fearless :-) Miss you and love you!
ReplyDeleteohhhhh sammy i'm so glad you're on here! i miss you, and i'm terrible at keeping in touch! i never call/message/text or anything! leah is getting the mittens. heh.
ReplyDeletethank you for your words of encouragement..i'll be praying for us :)